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advice on a quarantined coworker crush

Ok so! I kinda have a crush on this guy at my work but with this whole quarantine thing I’m probably not going to see this guy until summer or whenever this settles down. He trained me way back in December and kinda flirted with me but never really did anything so I kinda left it alone. During training We were making jokes and so I said “oh let’s make our own club” and he said that “oh our club should be that we hang out and listen to music  together” and then just a bunch of things like that that make me think he kinda likes me back?? Idk this man literally shook my hand and looked me in the eyes and brought me my uniform all folded up 🥺He always acts a bit strange around me but lately he’s been really goofy and shy and idk what to think?? He’s so nice and goofy and CUTE , he even took the time to show me all the things for the job and didn’t write me up when he could’ve lol. Idk we are friends on Facebook ( I friended him) lol and I was debating sending a message out to just be like hey I like you or whatever. I don’t like waiting around but I don’t know life is short. What should I do? 

Before I make this about you, I want to make this about me. 

I’m jealous. Work crushes are so incredible. I’ve never actually had one, but I’ve always really wanted one. It seems like it’d make work really fun! You’re getting paid to do your job AND to be cute!!!! Ugh, what a dream.

Okay, okay. Back to you.

I was debating making this one really short, and just making it like, “Message him. The end.” But that would be mean, and I get what it feels like to have a crush and want to run through scenarios. And also, what else do I have better to do? We’re in a global pandemic for crying out loud.

Scenario I: You don’t message him

This one isn’t going to happen. I’m not going to let you make this one happen. But let’s run through it.

You don’t message him, and instead wait to talk and flirt with him again when you guys are back together in person for work. 

Not to make this grim, because that’s the exact opposite of what I’m trying to do with this website, but we don’t know how long it’ll be before we’re able to, you know, leave our houses. June? July? The fall? Next year?

Do you really want to go that long just thinking about him and not taking any action?

Moving on.

Scenario II: You message him, and he doesn’t reply

Fuck it. You message him. Instead of sitting there just thinking about him, because I know you are (and I don’t blame you, what the fuck else would you being doing?), you send him a Facebook message.

You keep looking at your phone for a notification from him that never comes. 

That day and the next one, maybe you’re a little embarrassed. Maybe you’re sad. He’s so nice and goofy at work, why didn’t he reply? Does he not like me?

Maybe he doesn’t check Facebook often. Maybe he’s going through a hard time. Or maybe, just maybe, he isn’t interested.

Another day passes. You think about it again, and maybe you’re still hurt.

Another day passes. And another. And one more, just to be safe.

And guess what? It doesn’t hurt so bad anymore. You start to forget about it. 

Now you no longer have to sit there and wonder what if?

Scenario III: You message him, and he replies

Fuck it. You message him. Instead of sitting there just thinking about him, because I know you are (and I don’t blame you, what the fuck else would you being doing?), you send him a Facebook message.

You keep looking at your phone for a notification from him and— oh my fucking god, he REPLIED. YES. YESSSSSS. 

You two message back and forth. You get to know each other. The conversation gets flirty. And you, dare I say it… fall in love?

Ahead of myself? Okay. Whatever. All I meant by this scenario is he definitely could and probably would reply, then we can run through new scenarios from there. Just submit a new advice question to me.

So you’ve decided to message him. (At least, you better have.)

I know it’s scary to send a first message, so I’ve compiled a list of things you can send to him, ranging from casual to clearly-wanna-fxck level.

  1. Hey, how are you? : )
  2. Hey! I miss seeing you around work. How are you? : )
  3. Hey! I was thinking about you and wanted to reach out. How are you? : )
  4. Hey! I miss seeing you around work and wanted to reach out. How are you? : )
  5. Hey! Funny story… I like you. How’s quarantine treating you? : )
  6. Hey! I might be in love with you. : ) Wanna get married when this is over?

My last couple aren’t actually serious, but do with this what you will. 

Moral of the story is reach out and say ANYTHING. We’re all just chasing excitement here, and I guarantee he will be happy to hear from you, even if just as a friend.

Keep me updated!

Submit your anonymous questions/stories here.

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