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advice

advice on your hookup getting a girlfriend

Where to start… I’ve recently had a good friend whom I was hooking up with (was this a bad idea? Signs are pointing to yes!) end our sexual relationship in a one-and-done text (I say this because I did not give him the time of day to try and make himself the victim with his explanation) because he started seeing this girl he really likes and now he doesn’t even keep up with me on a friend level. I’ve been ditched altogether and HE would even classify me as a good friend. I know my emotions are not coming from an “I’m hurt and jealous because he likes someone else” place because we are absolutely NOT compatible romantically, only as friends, but I feel kind of used and betrayed. I thought if anything we’d just go back to being friends in a case like this but it feels like now that I serve no purpose to him sexually or emotionally as he can do all of his venting to this girl, I serve no purpose to him. All vert one-sided. As a friend, he’s been in my life for quite some time so I feel like the nostalgia in me is trying to keep him in my life for those reasons, but am I being blind to his trash behaviors? Is it time to let the friendship die or should fight for it? I actually can’t ask any of my other friends about this situation so thx for the box. Be brutal!

Ooh, this is interesting. Very interesting.

What I like about this question is that there are so many questions. Like, what the fuck is this guy’s deal, right? This is a mystery, and I’M Scooby Doo.

There could be so many explanations for why he’s acting this way. The possibilities could be endless. Keyword: could. But I don’t actually think that’s true.

To me, this seems clear: He just really likes this girl. Either he felt he needed to cut you off because you guys have a sexual history, or less likely, she found out you two have a sexual history and she asked him to cut you off. 

Another very possible scenario is he wasn’t even thinking about the fact that you guys have a sexual history. It’s not uncommon for people to get into new relationships and talk to their friends less.

No matter what was going on from his side of it all, I genuinely do not believe he’s trash. It’s rare for me to publicly defend a m*n, but I think he’s just being a shitty friend in general and not a shitty man with trash behaviors.

If you want to revive this friendship, I would reach out to him. You can’t wait on him to make the first friendship move, because odds are he may not even realize he’s doing anything wrong. 

Be honest with him, like you were with me. You don’t have feelings for him and you’re happy for him, but you feel “used and betrayed”. Hopefully this will make him see that he’s kind of sucked lately.

I hope this helps! And after all this, if you reach out to him and he’s still shitty, I was wrong and he’s just trash. In that case, cut him off.

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